Jesus and LGBTQ+ Identity

Q: I know Jesus loves people who identify as being part of the LGBTQ+ community and wants them to follow Him, but does that mean they aren't able to be Christian because they won't change their lives totally?

A: Being a Christian requires great sacrifice of every person, but the gift received is of immeasurable value and worth it all. I've gathered some of the most difficult quotes of Jesus below. We see that following Jesus requires laying down our own life: not only dying for Jesus, but living for Him. 

"Jesus said to him, 'If you would be perfect, go, sell what you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.' When the young man heard this he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions. And Jesus said to his disciples, 'Truly, I say to you, only with difficulty will a rich person enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God.'" - Matthew 19:21–24.

Notice that the man walks away sorrowful, and Jesus does not stop him and lower the cost. The cost was money for this man - but the real cost was his heart, his worship. This man's master was the love of money. As we will see in the following passage, no one can serve two masters. 

"Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also... No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money." - Jesus in Matthew 6:19–21, 24.

What is your master? Is it money? Is it pleasure? Is it happiness or being able to follow your dreams? Is it success? Is it comfort? Personally, I struggle with serving my own comfort at times over serving God. Is your master romantic relationships? Children? Consider the following difficult passage:

"Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. And a person’s enemies will be those of his own household. Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." - Jesus in Matthew 10:34–39.

Don't misunderstand the above passage: Jesus loves your family members more than you ever could. And the answer is not to love our parents or our children less, but that God would help us to love Him more. 

"For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul? For what can a man give in return for his soul? For whoever is ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, of him will the Son of Man also be ashamed when he comes in the glory of his Father with the holy angels." - Jesus in Mark 8:36–38.

"And [Jesus] said, 'What comes out of a person is what defiles him. For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person.'" - Mark 7:20–23.

"You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery.' But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell." - Jesus in Matthew 5:27–30.

We see that turning to God requires our very life. 

"Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?' And then will I declare to them, 'I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.'" - Jesus in Matthew 7:21–23.

The above passage is one of the most sobering quotes of Jesus. Not even mighty works are an indicator of salvation. "Believing in Jesus" is not just internal, but we learn in the book of James that when that belief is real, it changes our actions. The presence or absence of good works is an indicator that our faith is alive or dead. (See James 2:14-26 and James 1:19-27). Consider also these words of Jesus:

"I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing." - Jesus in John 15:1–5. 

"And Jesus answered them, 'The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. If anyone serves me, he must follow me; and where I am, there will my servant be also. If anyone serves me, the Father will honor him.'" - John 12:23–26.

Anyone who follows Jesus will face persecution and suffering:

"If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. Remember the word that I said to you: 'A servant is not greater than his master.' If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you. If they kept my word, they will also keep yours. But all these things they will do to you on account of my name, because they do not know him who sent me." - Jesus in John 15:18–21.

Most people have heard John 3:16, but see the following verses that might be a little harder to accept:

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God. And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil. For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed. But whoever does what is true comes to the light, so that it may be clearly seen that his works have been carried out in God." - Jesus in John 3:16–21.

These are all hard sayings. And many days I have struggled to accept them myself. We can come to Jesus as we are. He does not require us to be without sin or fix ourselves before believing in Him. If that was a prerequisite, none of us would be able to come to Jesus because none of us can change in our own strength. But anyone wanting to say that Jesus will not ask you to lay down your own desires at His feet is deceiving you and themselves.

I have had times in my walk with Jesus where I realized I had a "master" other than Jesus. Once it was relationships. Then it was money and belongings. Then it was comfort. There will never be a Christian who does not struggle with having a "master" other than God. But when that other thing we are tempted to serve is revealed, how do we respond? Submit to Jesus? Or try to hold on and serve two masters (which Jesus says is impossible). 

Why is it impossible? Because ultimately, there will come a time when we are given a choice to follow one or the other. The choices will be opposing. For example, lets say you are a woman, and a friend introduces you to a guy you find attractive and charming. He makes you laugh, is always willing to help others, and is empathetic and kind. But you know he isn't a Christian. You know the Bible warns against marrying someone who isn't a believer. So what do you do? When he asks you on a date, do you go? Do you rationalize that you could "serve two masters," still love Jesus but date this man anyway? But the choices are opposing: either you follow Jesus and respectfully decline this man's offer for a date, or you follow your desire for a romantic relationship and date him. Do you see how no one can serve two masters? Eventually, a time will come that choosing one means ignoring or walking away from the other. 

Some Christians in the previous situation have reasoned, "I'll just marry this guy, and then getting divorced would be a sin, so Jesus would want us to remain together." That reasoning may be correct, but those Christians may not realize what they are getting into. He may be extremely accepting of your faith now, he may disagree but be happy to support your faith. But this likely will not always be the case. Yes, Jesus would want your marriage to remain together (with a few exceptions such as infidelity), but that itself may require more sacrifice than you might realize. Raising children, attending a church, giving financially, serving your community, these are all things that likely could be made difficult with a spouse who does not follow Jesus. I have known Christians who have come to deeply regret making this decision.

So let's return to the original question:

I know Jesus loves people who identify as being part of the LGBTQ+ community and wants them to follow Him, but does that mean they aren't able to be Christian because they won't change their lives totally?

No one will be perfect when they come to Jesus. If I was praying with a woman I knew loved money but who realized her need for Jesus, I would not automatically demand her to fix her greed or give up her money before she could accept Jesus as her Savior. Similarly, I would not automatically demand someone who identified as lesbian or transgender to renounce all that before accepting Jesus.

Usually, there are some things that God reveals to a person before or when they accept Jesus, and they make a decision to surrender those things to Jesus. But as that Christian continues following Jesus, there will be more things to surrender. Read again this quote of Jesus, "What comes out of a person is what defiles him. For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person." - Jesus in Mark 7:20–23. As we follow Jesus, He will lead us to surrender things, and it will require "denying ourselves, taking up our cross, and following Him."

Yes, sexual immorality is a sin, and it includes any lust or sexual activity outside of marriage in the way God has defined it: monogamous, lifelong, and heterosexual. Jesus made this clear.

"And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, 'Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?' [Jesus] answered, 'Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, 'Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.' They said to him, 'Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?' [Jesus] said to them, 'Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.'" - Matthew 19:3–9.

Jesus said anyone who looks at another person with lust has already committed adultery in their heart. 

Having certain sexual desires or temptations is NOT a sin. Jesus himself was tempted, yet did not sin. The temptation is not the sin, but they sin if they give in to that desire either by lusting (ex: fantasizing) or in sexual acts outside of marriage between one man and one woman. Part of the confusion is the idea that our desires ARE our identity. If I am a woman who is attracted to women, then I AM a lesbian. And if God tells me I cannot act on these desires, then He is rejecting who I am. This is a lie. You may have these sexual desires, and perhaps you even have had them as long as you can remember. But anyone who becomes a Christian finds their identity in Christ first and foremost, and does not find their identity in their desires - sinful or not. Might the Christian still find themselves with homosexual desires? Of course. All of us are tempted.

So can "gay-oriented" people be Christian? Yes! Christians are tempted by desires of all kinds, just as Jesus Himself was tempted. But can someone who is in a homosexual relationship be Christian? If they continue in their relationship without repenting and ending the relationship, especially after other Christians have confronted them about it, there is a very real danger that they are deceiving themselves and Jesus is not their master. Their real master is their desire for relationship or satisfaction. 

As Christians, we must follow Jesus' guidance with unrepentance of any kind: 

"If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector." - Jesus in Matthew 18:15–17.

I thank God that He has been patient with me. Often, I have had to take some time to weigh the cost of following Jesus as He has revealed more sin in my life. But we will eventually choose. How we live our lives will reveal who or what is our "true master" in life. 

So preach the gospel - the good news - to EVERYONE! Jesus offers salvation to all. Yet the cost of following Jesus is great, and few will choose the hard path with the narrow gate that leads to life. Jesus also said in Matthew: 

 "Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a net that was thrown into the sea and gathered fish of every kind. When it was full, men drew it ashore and sat down and sorted the good into containers but threw away the bad. So it will be at the end of the age. The angels will come out and separate the evil from the righteous and throw them into the fiery furnace. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth." - Jesus in Matthew 13:47–50.

Please, preach the gospel to all. It is good news. Not all will accept it, but do not decide that anyone is "too sinful" to hear the gospel. That is not Biblical. Jesus preached the gospel (good news): 

"Jesus came into Galilee, proclaiming the gospel of God, and saying, 'The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand; repent and believe in the gospel.'" - Mark 1:14–15.

The cost is high, but God is of greater worth than gold, and blessed is the one who gives up anything to follow Him.

"The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and covered up. Then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field." - Jesus in Matthew 13:44.

In the above parable, the man sells everything he has to buy the field, but it's not a fair trade. The man gets immeasurably more for his investment than it was worth. That is what the Kingdom is like. We may sell all we have, but the treasure in the field is of exponentially greater value. What a gift that God offers salvation to us, though we are not entitled or deserving of it! He gives it as a gift.

I pray that whenever you are faced with a choice between two masters, you will choose Jesus every time. He is worth it, my friend. He is worth it all.